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Saint Fidgeta, virgin and martyr, is the patroness of nervous and unmanageable children (Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies; 11-2).

Biography[]

Born in 482 in ancient Gaul, the daughter of Christian parents lived life that was "rather dull" until her father and mother were killed by a foraging band of Avars. Fidgeta was sent to live with her pagan uncle and attended a pagan grammar school where her beliefs were subject to frequent ridicule. She died in 489 at the hand of her teacher, having been slapped to death after extreme fidgeting in a desire to attend Mass.

The following year, in 490, she was canonized (presumably by Pope Felix III).

Post-canonization[]

Fidgettine apparitions[]

Fidgeta (b&w)

Saint Fidgeta

A Fidgettine apparition is a supernatural appearance by Saint Fidgeta.  A few of these have been documented:

  • During an attack in the 7th Century against the Byzantine city of Ud, Persian Emperor Tissaphernes encountered a Fidgettine apparition that caused his army to flee (658).
  • Scintilla Sforza was witness to an apparition in 13th Century Italy. On the spot of the apparition she built Santa Fidgeta and founded the Order of Faithful Fidgettines (1272).
  • During the 15th Century Turkish siege of Pinsk, Fidgeta appeared as a fluffy, pink cloud[comments 1] that induced uneasiness in the invading army (1450).

In Art[]

Symbols of Fidgeta in art include the red slap mark on the cheek[comments 2], the Scholar's pen, and the virgin's girdle. Early representation is rare because Byzantine art does not allow the depiction of a restless saint. Representation includes:

  • Icon of Saint Fidgeta, Studium, Constantinople (not confirmed)
  • Apotheosis of Saint Fidgeta
  • Saint Fidgeta Chastised by Saint Jerome
  • Saint Fidgeta in Ecstasy

In Prayer[]

Later Visions[]

Fidgeta (flimsy)

Saint Fidgeta in the parade of former flimsies.

Fidgettine icon (housecw film)

A Fidgettine icon rests on the bedside table of Lewis Barnavelt (left).

Fidgeta spinner

Saint Fidgeta fidget spinner, for restless souls twitching and twisting during the sermon.

Comments[]

  1. Clouds appear pink – or red or orange – usually at sunrise or sunset when they reflect the long, un-scattered rays of the sun.  Another prominent “pink cloud” is the one associated with alcoholics and addicts; a "temporary artificial euphoria."
  2. We doubt a connection but the red hand mark brings to mind the Red Hand of Ulster, a heraldic symbol to denote the Irish province of Ulster.

Reference[]


Saint Fidgeta and Other Parodies

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1. The True History of St. Fidgeta, Virgin and Martyr

Fidgeta
Santa Fidgeta • Litany of Saint FidgetaApotheosis of Saint Fidgeta

Order of Faithful Fidgettines
Adiposa • Anfractua • Dragomira • Latifundia • Regina Coeli LaetarePudibunda

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